Late late nights.

I have been Incredibly terrible with my sleeping schedule. It started a couple nights ago, I was crashing in my sisters room and it being a weekend and all we stayed up. I started this drama halfway through as a little chill time from studying. And so I was going to watch and them go to sleep. Knowing me, I burned through episodes. (I'm pretty certain it's got something to do with withdrawal). Found myself feeling more and more awake as I was watching. When I finally decided it was time to sleep (well past 3am), I couldn't fall asleep. Rolled around, picked up my phone a couple more times. Next thing I know, it's 5:30 and it was getting light outside. Moved to another room and dozed off around 6/7. Thought I'd just sleep half the day but I woke up a couple hours later when my family was up. Felt like shit but didn't get much more sleep. Surprisingly, I got through the day okay. It was purely studying so nothing excessive. At 10, I started crashing and was going to call it an early night. But since I don't learn, I stayed up another late night. Got distracted, night owl mode kicked in, crawled into bed with my phone; next thing I know, it's 4am. Slept till 1 this afternoon and wasn't really all that productive either.  Thing is, I'm surprised my system hasn't called it quits on me yet, although I'm sure I just jinxed it. Guess tomorrow will be the day I use that grande Starbucks coupon. Have to really fix myself up before it's time to really crack down, no nonsense style on my exams. They're getting pretty close already and I'm getting nervous. My freak out session of the week has been focused on my chem mark needing to pass the portion of the course that doesn't include the lab. Was overjoyed I passed the lab until I realized that I still could fail. I think I overstressed and miscalculated but nonetheless it is not a good situation. On top of that, I have no clue whether I'm going to be anywhere close to making the cut to transfer. It's not that I don't have an idea, it's just I don't know if I'm going to be on par with averages. And if I don't make it, I'm royally screwed. Lost like captain jack and his compass, no joke. Probably should really consider sleeping and praying for brain cells regrowing. There's a term in psych for that but clearly no longer with me. 

My "excuse" for the night is that I needed to get all the tv out of my system in order to focus. But at this rate, I'm just going to pass the fuck out tomorrow. Well, guess we have a goal for tomorrow: Get out of bed. Some part of my brain has already decided that May is close enough. Crap. 

Amusing side note, my sister sounded disappointed about the ending of this drama (Innocent Man/Nice Guy; she's seen it). Main man ends up with  prosopagnosia and ends up not recognizing his girl. Something I learned about in the psych course I just took actually. Haha. If I learned something, it's that; just not how to spell it. Ending in my opinion was aite. Any ending where they end up together is decent. It's a plus if they add extra "aww"s and sappy scenes  but you know, you don't always get what you want. 

I'm so ready for summer it's ridiculous. 

Oh!! One last thing since we've got the photos going. I acquired a second hand Polaroid last week through a school Fb group. Really really happy with it actually. It's digital and is pretty crazy. Can't wait to use it! 

Bah, since I'm still at it, ultimate starts on the first Monday of May!!!! Super psyched even though I don't have confirmation from my boss that I'm not scheduled for work. Actually have to bug him about that tmr. Bs been really excited to play and it's gotten me hyped. Only problem is, I'm so outta shape and not much good under pressure. Last note: the sun run is this weekend..... I'm going to die. 

Mokay! Don't even know why I'm still up. Sleepy time. 당신을 잘 잠. 

Circles: This day last year.

Scrolled down to the bottom of this page to find a post from this day last year. Same sort of situation really which is pretty sad. Finals start on Monday for me and I've spent the day bumming around essentially. Have been getting morning runs in since it has been so sunny and it feels great. Not really tracking much at all but the fresh air is really really rewarding. Life has been going slow. School hasn't been helping. I feel like during the school year I fall into this monotonous routine and time just passes with nothing really happening. I talk to people and hear their plans and the world just seems like it's spinning around me, without me. My sister's got a summer trip to New York in the works and it has got me really thinking about travelling myself. I just want the opportunity get out and just experience. Enough of this  responsible academic bullshit if I put it bluntly.

Studied with some friends yesterday, one of which I haven't seen in about three years. It was really nice to catch up because I feel like we did click in the past. She's undecided about what she'll be doing but she sounded pretty prepared for whatever happens and for the rest of university in general. I talk about what I want but there really isn't a whole lot of reasoning behind it and I don't really have any idea where I'm going.

*Sigh* I mean, Youtube could practically count as my best friend. There's a problem.
I think a big part of it is not taking initiative about it and being aggressive but in the moment it's hard to catch... if that even makes sense...