Right, I forgot you don't care about shit. You just care that I don't spend every waking millisecond studying my ass of to be picture perfect for you. You tell me it's not for you, it shouldn't be for you but then you tell me to aim for perfect. What happens if I don't want perfect? What then? Do I fail you? No. Then, my standards aren't high enough and that's wrong. To who?? You!
I'm so fuckin screwed and I know it. I don't need you to rub it in my face.

The Week in Between Hell

Over dramatic? Eh, maybe. 

In recent news: Didn't throw $300 (from someone else's pocket) into the big ocean which is not bad and unexpected. However, I'm starring at a pretty blank screen 10hrs before this paper's due with 50/250 words down. Pretty good achievement seeing as I started tonight and been having the need to pop advils but not so good overall. Especially night before the first day back. Taken me about a millisecond in between yt videos to realize that a week has gone by and I have done absolutely nothing related to school. So much for heading towards the smart people boat. *sigh

Week went a little like:

Skipped a whole lot of classes, watched Bourne Legacy, went out for dinner for Popo's bday( and ended up with 2 giant cakes), worked and then worked some more, watched Skyfall and then rewatched Avengers, taught rball, went grocery shopping (1pm Costco hotdog meal "brunch" followed by Samurai girl date), tried Cyclefit for the first time,  went to hot yoga, stuffed myself full of raw everything at Tomo with a crew of really awesome people (and then had cake), cooked fat attack dinner, dined on fat attack dinner with awesome cousins, played a new board game (Survive), played with sparklers, went to work again (and had a pretty good time), and procrastinated a whole shittin lot. 

Not necessarily in that order cuz god knows I've got next to no short term memory but you get the point. Didn't work out a whole lot. Saw a whole lot of family. Ate a lot of Japanese food and got really really fat. However, I also discovered Cyclefit so as long as I fit that into my schedule and stay a float I should be fine right?

We'll see.

Back to that word count!

Haven't visited for a while..

Which I guess is technically kind of a good thing....
Socio midterm tmr which I am not ready for. /: Heading to bed anyways though after a day of fucking around because I need to. Highly doubt that I can avoid it but fingers crossed I don't get raped.
Been getting pulled into a warp it seems; like a black hole. Got to change things. Two big goals: control my bingeing and control my useless web-ing (mainly fuckin YouTube). :@ ruining my life.

There is no easy, just life. Fuckin deal with it.

On the brighter side, CNY coming up! Weekend after midterm calls for good food, bio notes, Batman and Bond, and hopefully some snow!

Zzzz
P.s thought I'd add some color.

Falling apart, slowly crumbling to pieces

Coffee in the afternoon kills. Good thing I don't have class tmr. Bad thing I intend(ed) to get up early.

Things are really beginning to settle in for me. Time to pick up my horse shit and get my life together. And not just all talk and no action. Strictly action. There are too many people I have to prove wrong and too many people standing behind me waiting for me to shine. It will be hard but fuck it, I will get through to the other side. Just like Eminem, "I'ma be what I set out to be, without a doubt, undoubtably
And all those who look down on me, I'm tearing down your balcony

No if, ands, or buts."

Done.

好心被雷劈

Studying for my bio midterm tomorrow. Pretty scared for it because it's 15 multiple choice questions long.

Fucking hell. As if things couldn't just go from bad to worse. I seem like I'm under a lot of fucking pressure when you talk to me?? News Flash! I am in a lot of pressure!

Screw up?

Big time.

Despite all the dark, I'm "Still Alive"

Should be sleeping but had to document the trippiness of my day. Went out looking poopy cuz my hair was acting up and I slept in and missed my first actual lab. -.- went to study but ended up buying a pair of shoes for cheap and a book for my sister first. Didn't get much done but ran into possible every person that I would never in a million years guess I would bump into at that place and time. Yes I'm a little mind blown because it was just the oddest mix and almost literally one after another. A friend's ex, and old baller friend, the action kids brat, my ex rballers dad, Tak and his family!??? The fuck. So random. I probably should have said I but I was kind of in shock. It was weird. I want to meet his kids ): Anywhoozies, that was pretty random. Time for bed... Almost.

*apopt the prone position, ready, aim, fire*